Category Archives: amusements

Ten Things: December

This year our Ten Things series – which surprisingly appears on the tenth of each month – continues concentrating on the amusing, both real and fictional. So this month we have …

Ten Odd Names from My Family History
(direct relationship where known)

  1. John Crotehole (my 12th great-grandfather)
  2. Thomas Cuckow
  3. Brothers Absalom, Israel & Jabez Hicks, and their grandfather Farclay Hicks (Jabez Hicks was my great-great-grandfather, and Farclay my 4th great-grandfather)
  4. Spicer Marshall
  5. Turner Marshall
  6. Emma Mouser
  7. Langman Murfet (my 6th great-grandfather)
  8. Willson Gates Nowers (my 3rd great-uncle; right)
  9. Marrianna Odeyarne (my 9th great-grandmother)
  10. Philip Wildboar

Ten Things: November

This year our Ten Things series – which surprisingly appears on the tenth of each month – continues concentrating on the amusing, both real and fictional. So this month we have …

Ten Strange Ancient Jobs

  1. Nob Thatcher
  2. Bum Bailiff
  3. Fear-Naught Maker
  4. Fish Fag
  5. Gerund Grinder
  6. Gong Farmer
  7. Philosophical Instrument Maker (right)
  8. Prick Louise
  9. Rack Maiden
  10. Vaginarius

Auction Amusements (Part 2 of 2)

In this part of the latest amusements from our local auction house we return to the more usual eccentricities of strange objects for sale, things you wouldn’t want to share a house with (and a few you would), and peculiar juxtapositions to make a lot.


An interesting lot including a pair of cut-throat razors in original leather-covered case stamped Fielder & Son, Southsea, a boxwood and brass-folding rule by L.H. Turtle Ltd., Toolmakers, Croydon, an old fishing reel by A. Carter & Co., South Molton, a table lighter fashioned as a world globe and a small embossed brass sign advising poachers that they shall be shot on sight and if practicable questioned afterwards, and a Bakelite ashtray and playing card box.


A set of sugar nips styled as a spur, a silver stamp box, Birmingham 1874, the lid incorporating a One Penny Magenta stamp and a silver caddy spoon, Glasgow 1930, embossed with Old Mother Hubbard.


A collection of martial art show display weaponry including axes, a pair chrome Sai’s, fantasy display weaponry, a papier mache wall face mask etc.


A metal statue of Lenin, a Wedgwood Peter Rabbit child’s breakfast bowl and wooden auctioneers gavel


A square tile by Gofer Israel and a smaller rectangular tile by the same artist


A promotional plastic life-size model of a London telephone box


A Victorian skeleton mantel timepiece in brass, with passing strike on a bell, ebonised base, 15 in high overall


An old roe deer head with impressive antlers


A bronze after Edwin Scharff, of a man on a swordfish, numbered 561/600, weathered dark brown patination, on wood base, 9.5 in high


Contemporary art: a Murano glass sculpture by Berengo, as a block of clear glass enclosing a gold leaf face, 32 cm high


A Steiff white label mohair teddy bear ‘Black Jack’, 26 cm, with box


Auction Amusements (Part 1 of 2)

Well what can one say? There’s a simply incredible sale this week at our local auction house. The star attarctions (spread over 7 lots) seem to be …


The stock from a retired hardware dealer including …

… large quantities of National Abrasives steel wool, Mykal Pet Clean 3-in-1, Mangers Humidifier Replacement Wicks, National Abrasives yellow oxide, Mirka Sanding Discs, Orbital Sanding sheets, minirolls for hand and power sanding, ultra-tape, Thread seal tape, Rustin’s steel wool, Everbuild’s Forever White Mould Shield, Stixall Extreme Power paste, wood fillers, MP Woodfiller Light Lights, dual purpose metal sealing discs for Kilner jars, Mammoth tapes including electrical tapes and plumbing tapes, etc., Everflex external frame sealants, Everbuild Coving and joint fillers, and One-Hour chalk whites.

… large quantities of unused Prostar Impact Masonry Drill, HSS Jobber drill parts, a laminate cutter, ground spreaders, locks and door fittings, garden hook set, watch straps, screw-drivers, tile files, plug sockets, bradawls, hammers, Stanley knives, brush ends, cutters, goggles, tape measures, clamps, floorboard chisels, chisels, spanners, hacksaw blades, monkey wrenches, wire brushes, trowels, hasp and staples, plasterer’s hawks, silicone dispensers.

… three Hyatt Money Note Checkers, a Jumbo Calculator, roller cleaners, wood working planes, a nine-piece German style knife set, Beat a burst The Plumber in the Toolbox tool, a box of Pop Rivet tool CK2, wood bits, chair webbing, smoke alarm, some die cast models of days gone by, etc.

… a quantity of balls of strings, stockinette polishing and wiping cloth, brackets, hard hats, sponges, roller frames, paint brushes, window locks, Rapid epoxy syringes, Timber OBO timber connectors, barrel bolts, staples, fasteners, blades, Westco mini oil canisters, waste plugs, rod sockets, scissors, line pin sets, etc.

… Bright Power pocket torches, Basta ‘The neat bright lights’, door numbers, hinges, cupboard catches, Legg cylinder night latch and other door locks, Regalead self adhesive window lead, Homelux adhesive bonder, electric Wolf switches, wooden doorknobs, gardening gloves, working gloves, steel wool, masking tape, builder’s polythene sheeting, letterbox, draft excluders, etc.

… spare shelf locator packs, self-adhesive lead strip by Decra-Led, Regalead self-adhesive window lead, Mammoth Powerful double sided tape, Ultratape waterproof tape, Mr Cozy self-stick draft excluder, Quick Grip draft excluder, weather strips, Sylglas Aluminium waterproofing tape, 502 Wood adhesive, Everbuild: Mitre Fast, PVC Cream cleaner, Multispray, Instant nails, Wonder wipes, Moss & Mould remover, Extreme frame sealant, Sugar soap powder, Paint and Varnish stripper, Blackjack waterproof protection everlasting tape, All-Purpose Powder filler; gas tape, HG window cleaner, Forever White mould protector, Holt’s De-Icer, Rustin’s Linseed oil, Everflex 125 one-hour Caulk, 151 Wallpaper stripper, Mammoth gaffer tape, silicone fusing repair tape, One Strike filler, tile-edge trim, drawer draft excluders, brass door stops, etc.

… 7 mm drill screws, cantilever shelf brackets, keys, door hooks, light fittings, rechargeable batteries, bulbs, cable locks, masking tape, Everbuild: Wood adhesive, Roof and Gutter sealant, Silicon spray, Instant Nails, Damp & Mould Remover, Sugar Soap Liquid Spray, Premium Excellerator & Frost Proofer; Rustin’s Strypit, graffiti remover, all-weather tape, Rustin’s Danish oil, Pink grip by Everbuild, Polycell polyfiller, 502 Wood adhesive, English Abrasive Supersander, brown plugs, lots of different paints including Dulux Trade Undercoat, Norver Exterior Masonry Paint and Rustin’s Step & Tile Paint, Dulux Trade Satinwood, Dulux Trade Eggshell finish, tile adhesives by Everbuild and Homecare, Rustin’s Brilliant White Gloss.


And there’s more in Part 2 >>>>>>>>

Ten Things: October

This year our Ten Things series – which surprisingly appears on the tenth of each month – continues concentrating on the amusing, both real and fictional. So this month we have …

Ten Organisations I Invented

  1. Badger and the Road Kill; third rate 70s rock group
  2. Beaver & Dyke; pub
  3. Blunder & Bust; accountants to the impoverished
  4. Forced Rhubarb; female barbershop singers
  5. Gortmore Mews; merchant bank
  6. Interbap; Russian state bakers
  7. Kidney, Scrotum & Codd; debt collectors
  8. Snottwright & Wedge; builders
  9. Virgins in Paradise; Islamic girl band (right)
  10. Wackford Squeers and the Cheeryble Brothers; gothic Motown rock band

Auction Amusements

We’ve not had a collection of amusements from our local auction house for quite a while. That’s partly because the auctions haven’t been that interesting. That’s not too surprising as a lot of what they do is house clearance, which is going to be variable but also goes some way to explain the strange combinations of things which are used to make a lot. Anyway here are some of the highlights from the last three auctions: strange combinations, odd things to sell, or just poorly phrased descriptions.


A mixed lot including a pair of vintage ice-skates, a vintage wooden bat, small glass animal ornaments, three cameras including Kodak Instamatic 133X, an Agfamatic, shell model of a fox, a pair of Rand No. 1 opera binoculars in box, artist materials, Liverpool Road pottery dishes, Wade animals etc.


A vintage parking meter on pole No. 3447.


A vintage wooden boxed His Master’s Voice Valve Radio and a vintage Ransome’s Lawnmower.


A Dollmore fully ball-jointed male ‘Theo’ doll sculpted by Gu mi-jeong, with blue glass eyes and accessories including wigs, eyes in other colours, shoes, stand and sailor suit.


A 1929 Morris Cowley Flatnose saloon, registration KX 3053, for full restoration. This vehicle comes with a replacement engine, part-fitted, the original engine, and many other parts.


A typed letter from Ronald Reagan dated September 25 1980 thanking Mr Taylor for support with faded signature, mounted and framed, and a framed commission from George III to Captain Andrew Ross Esq. signed by Henry Dundas, framed.


Thirteen brass blow lamps including one petrol.


A vintage Slazenger croquet set in pine box, an earthenware crock and Panasonic Music Centre.


Two Civil Defence Geiger counters.


An adjustable reading light, a builder’s platform, a Black & Decker leaf blower.


An alabaster table lamp and stacking wine storage racks and an extending aluminium ladder.


A fine quality model of the Cutty Sark, 1868, in a glazed display cabinet.


A very large lot of mixed items including table lamps, a quantity of silver-plate including one silver golfing spoon, cocktail shaker, knife rests, cutlery, an Olympiette Special cased typewriter, a small quantity of pretty costume jewellery in two jewellery boxes, china tea services including Royal Doulton ‘Hilltop’; glassware: glasses, light bulbs; stationery, wicker storage baskets, wools and threads, vintage crochet hooks, embroidery stands, cashbox, wooden trays, a wicker clothes basket and a wicker wine rack and a vintage floor light, a real mixed lot.


A mixed lot including a Sony S Master micro hifi system CMT-G1B1P with speakers, a Samsung speaker, a quantity of electrical accessories including a digital thermometer, telephone cups, a Braun diffuser hairdryer, alarm clock radios, two cameras, two ladders etc.


A large mixed lot including a large quantity of cleaning materials and cloths, such as Flash, W5 degreaser, Mr Muscle etc., a large black and white meat plate, a print of a horse, stainless steel dinner wares, two black ceiling spotlights, a cuckoo clock etc.


Three vintage milk churns, an old petrol can, a large oak frame and a bag containing decoy pigeons with stands.


A mixed lot including food bags, foil, a wall tall organiser, sealants, slug pellets, vintage wood working planes, shoe polishes, etc.


A vintage circa 1965 Honda 50 scooter with original paint work and vintage helmet registration number DYY 376C
[Since when did helmets have to be registered?]


An impressive standard lamp with modern shade, probably Doulton though unmarked, on bronze stand with three hairy feet supports and classical column support.


Approximately 175 petrol lighters of various makes including approximately 20 lift-arm lighters, approximately 28 Ronson Varaflame gas lighters and 13 table lighters on ribbed bases, and 70 other lighters, many gas and 15 trench art lighters. (NB numbers are approximate and the lighters have not been checked for condition or originality)


An Hermes Plisse pleated scarf in Grand Fonds design in bright jewel colours, with original box.