Category Archives: amusements

amusements, arts

And There's More …

Another selection of the curious from the catalogue of one of our local auction houses.

An antique far Eastern bronze figure of a river cod [sic] having gilt embellishment and raised on an integral base. [Shown right]

An elaborate IBO Nigerian tribal mask, with pointed features and an elaborate headdress.

Two 1950’s Japanese musical compacts, fully boxed, together with two Vogue compacts.

A long natural rawhide whip, together with a shorter example with a black finish.

A set of thirty black and white Edwardian French erotic transparencies …

A collection of miniature African ivory busts, some on hardwood stands, mounted to serve as place setting marks.

An early 20th century trophy mounted stags head on an oak shield plaque.

An 18th century silk embroidered map of England and Wales, showing counties, in oval gilt frame.

A collection of seven antique ethnic and tribal metal items including fish spears, cow bells and weaving implements.

A large of [sic] art glass Menagerie animals, to include a five piece elephant band …

A Spanish infantry helmet with original leather liner (Revolution period), together with an Italian infantry helmet.

A scratch built motorised pond model of the German battle cruiser Gneisenau … [Below]

Five West German Hummel figures, to include a boy playing a horn …

A Roman 2nd century slingshot raised on a modern circular stand.

A modern Eastern style marriage chest, clad in silk mix floral fabric and brown leather studded strap work …

An industrial nut trolley …

amusements

Dippy

We haven’t had a good cartoon here for a while, so here’s one which amused me the other day …

Click the image for a larger version
amusements, ramblings

All Over the Garden

Oh God it’s going to be a day of giant rhubarb news stories.

Following on from Chancellor Osborne’s apparently sudden realisations, our beloved Metropolitan Police have issued a list of plants we should all have to deter burglars.

Yeah OK, so far.

The news report finishes with the Met’s advice that Hedges and shrubs in the front garden should be kept to a height of no more than three feet in order to avoid giving a burglar a screen behind which he can conceal himself.

Leaving aside, for a moment, the implication that female felons don’t try to hide, there’s a problem with this. The list of suggested plants includes Gunnera manicata (above; deciduous and grows to 2.5m), Golden Bamboo (grows to 3.5m) and several conifers, none of which are susceptible to being pruned or trimmed successfully to under 1 metre nor are really suitable for the average suburban garden.

Duh!

<Paging Alan Titchmarsh>

amusements, people, personal

Oh Dear Me

7 Comments

This week’s challenge at The Gallery is an Embarrassing Outfit.

Hmmm. I don’t generally do “outfits”. They’re not my style. Besides men in skirts tend not to be understood, unless one comes from the heathen lands north of Hadrian’s Wall. Despite being a southerner, there is a tradition, which I’ve never proven, of some Scots ancestry and I did have a kilt when I was young. But I can’t find a photo of me then; even my mother doesn’t appear to have one. That surprises me, but it’s probably just as well.

The best I can do for an embarrassing outfit is me leading off the East Hertfordshire Scouts’ St George’s Day Parade at Turnford in 1964.

St George's Day Parade 1964

Yep that’s me, aged 13, at the front in the poncy white gloves — God they were uncomfortable: thick, stiff leather and whitened to death. And just look at those awful shorts! I led that parade for two or three years; this was probably the first occasion.

I dare you all to show me your embarrassing outfits.

amusements

Where do they get it all?

As regular readers will know I always keep an eye on the catalogue produced by our local auction house (who naturally also do house clearance). Over the years they have produced some corkers by way of inappropriate or ambiguous descriptions, strange things and odd combinations of “miscellaneous toot” into a single lot. It’s not always the strangeness of what they sell but the perversity of the combinations which amuse me. One wonders who buys the stuff.

But they must have been reading here because since I’ve been writing about these oddities their descriptions have improved greatly in quality. Maybe they’re just going up-market. So the catalogue for their upcoming sale ha produced fewer amusements than usual. However there are a few …

A World War II leather flying helmet, marked Frank Bryan Ltd 1939, a German military wristwatch — Urofa 58 668903, and a German dagger with stag horn handle in leather scabbard.

A tin containing old clay pipes.

Two bowler hats, a quantity of Royal Worcester Evesham, Sylvac Fauna jug, Wellington china tableware, yellow, black decoration, two metal figurines on marble base; Homepride flour man, Villeroy & Boch ware, egg coddlers, etc.

A pair of antlers, two pairs of binoculars, convex mirror with gesso frame, carved box, fur coat and stole, metal mesh handbag, framed map, silver plate items including teapot, serving spoons, ladles, etc.

A tribal animal skin shield, two clubs and a spear.

A large carved wood tribal mask with bone inlay, and a metal cow bell.

A large brass eagle.

A percussion cap musket, 18th/19th century.

A reproduction Black Forest cuckoo clock, in elaborate carved wood case with revolving figures, three train movement.

A German rare porcelain satirical Suffragette tobacco jar with cover, modelled as a passionate female head and inscribed ‘I say Down with the Trousers’

A Clarice Cliff Bizarre plate …

A Baxter print of a portrait of Nelson in period mahogany frame

A foldable bike, trailer and stroller in one, apparently unused, a wine rack and two Samsonite suitcases.

A Crimplene drop waist dress, other ladies’ clothes, three pairs of boots, Sinclair miniature tv, perfumes, etc.

A charming mink shoulder shrug …

A silk Victorian mourning dress and poke bonnet, consisting of cape/jacket, laced bustle, waistcoat, lace mob cap and silk material remnant.

Four cartons including old hats, metal figures, Steins, marble table lamps, an early German medical box, dressing table items, barometer, carved figure of an immortal, old beer pumps, old newspapers, horse figures, a lead bear, cigarette lighter missing strike, a carved water buffalo, storks, a crumb brush, whisky water jug, convex mirror, etc.

Having said that they do also have some rather nice things. The upcoming sale has a large number of lots of what looks like rather good antique silverware.

amusements, quotes

Wise Words?

A selection of recently culled amusing words from the wise and wise words from the amusing.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
[Steve Jobs]

I am not lazy … I just rest before I get tired.
[Thoughts of Angel]

Have compassion for everyone you meet, even if they don’t want it. What seems conceit, bad manners, or cynicism is always a sign of things no ears have heard, no eyes have seen. You do not know what wars are going on down there where the spirit meets the bone.
[Miller Williams, The Ways We Touch]

Everything will be OK in the end … if its not OK, its not the end.
[Thoughts of Angel]

amusements

I doubt the mean that …

Seen today on a tub of MYCIL Foot Powder:

Possible side effects:
If anything unusual happens, stop using the product and talk to your doctor or pharmacist.

Anything? Are they really interested in my cat catching a parrot in the snow with a butterfly net?