All posts by Keith

I’m a controversialist and catalyst, quietly enabling others to develop by providing different ideas and views of the world. Born in London in the early 1950s and initially trained as a research chemist I retired as a senior project manager after 35 years in the IT industry. Retirement is about community give-back and finding some equilibrium. Founder and Honorary Secretary of the Anthony Powell Society. Chairman of my GP's patient group.

A Load of Old Horse

The UK currently has a problem with horse meat.

Let’s be clear from the outset that there is nothing intrinsically wrong with horse meat per se. Many countries eat horse, just a many countries eat sheep, pig, cow, goat, chicken, rabbit and guinea pig. The immediate problems are that (a) the British have this fetish about not eating horse — despite that many were glad to during WWII — and (b) the horse was being passed off as something it wasn’t, ie. beef.


But let us look deeper, and ask what is the real root cause of the problem — because it is neither of the above.

The problem, my friends, is that the British are bone fucking idle. Josette Public doesn’t cook. Indeed Josette Public probably doesn’t know how to cook fresh food. Instead she relies on buying ready meals. And because she essentially doesn’t care about her food she insists that what she buys is dirt cheap.

So we have some people now preparing ready meals, at knock-down prices. Once you do that, and the meals can be heavily chilled or frozen, they can be shipped across borders so production can happen anywhere. And because most of these meals are essentially made from minced meat, they can contain any old meat off-cut, from anywhere you like, as long as it is cheap. So we quickly establish “meat sans frontières” and a supply chain that spans the globe.

And once the supply chain is thus, it is easy for criminal activity to be perpetrated and for errors to go unnoticed. Unless I am going to do a lot of rigorous testing I have only my supplier’s word that what he ships me is what he says it is — and so on ad infinitum. And am I going to do that testing? No of course not; I can’t afford to as the supermarkets insist on the lowest possible price.

And all because the lady basally doesn’t give a flying wombat — until she does, when she creates a stink not realising she is herself the underlying cause of the stink. She facilitated the whole mess.

If Josette Public bought fresh meat and cooked meals from scratch, she would (have to) take more interest; meat would need to be sourced from closer to home, and the shortened supply chain would make surveillance and quality assurance easier.

In this instance, as in many others, I’m afraid the British are their own worst enemies. And if you want the root cause if that? Once again I blame Harold Wilson.

Silly Meme

This meme is doing the rounds on Facebook. Just because I’m feeling like wasting time I thought I’d share it here too.

Age I was given: 30
I lived in: Chiswick
I was married to Noreen (by about 2 years)
I drove: myself into depression
I worked at: IBM in Sudbury Hill
I wanted to be: out of the scrofulous flat we lived in (and achieved it while still 30)
I feared: failure

I am now: 62
I live in: Sudbury Hill
I am still married to Noreen
I drive: a PC all day
I work at: retirement (and a little community giveback)
I want to be: financially secure
I fear: losing my marbles

Add a comment to this post and I’ll give you an age so you can continue this silliness.

Auction Rupert

Well it’s time for another round-up of the strange and amusing from our local auction house.

However first … If you’re Rupert Bear enthusiast get down to Bainbridge’s for this week’s sale, because it’s literally stuffed with Rupert memorabilia etc.

And so to some curiosities I spotted in this sale.

An oil of a man watering his horses in a river by BF Foster, signed and dated 1911, gilt frame

I’ve heard it called many things before but …!

Two Continental silver articulated fish, both with red eyes, one of slender form with unicorn hallmark … with removable head and interior fitted as a vinaigrette, probably 19th century, the other resembling a sole …

An old wooden till, Royal Doulton Sherbrooke coffee set, a glass dressing table set, various glass vases and ornaments, etc.

A large quantity of advertising ceramic items including Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs, Wade toast rack, Tetley tea, Andy Capp and Flo, Wade pigs, Homepride flour men, Sunny Jim Wheatflake doll, Utterly Butterly and Tetley tea aeroplanes, Trotters Independent Reliant Robin, Bisto clock, Wallace & Gromit talking alarm clock, Dr. Who money box, Quaker Oats, 75th anniversary plate, etc., etc.

I worry that someone might actually want a Wallace & Gromit alarm clock!

Six Wade monks, four brass cannons, a collection of Platignum and Sheaffer pens, a GEC transistor radio, and a tray of silver plated flatware.

But why does a disparate collection of ecclesiastics need fountain pens and a radio?

A collection of porcelain model vegetables including cabbage, lemons, apple, asparagus, bowl of cherries, mushrooms, onion, etc., each signed with monogram AG and dated …

An old ragged monkey who has seen better days but somehow can smile through it.

Two Victorian coloured glass lead windows, one depicting a kingfisher perched on a branch looking down on a spider, and another similar.

A large pair of moose antlers affixed to a shield wall plaque.

A Huntley & Palmers biscuit tin as a lantern, of conical form, and a tin plated water flask painted in red white and blue, probably 19th century French

Four cartons of bed linen including Ralph Lauren …

¿Que?

A fabulous lotot (sic) of books for ballet lovers including signed copies by Margot Fonteyn, Julia Farrow, Pamela May, Violetta Elvin, Beryl Grey, Alicia Markova, Ninette de Valois, Robert Helpmann, etc.

A boxed Pink Panther lamp, Star Wars paraphernalia, four boxed die-cast vehicles and an ET hand puppet.

A collection of humorous and other nicknacks, including a saucy cruet, glass flower vases, a Victorian cup and saucer, animal figures, a biscuit barrel, etc.

A metal parrot cage on castors.

Recipe: DIY Ribs

Here’s another culinary experiment from this evening. I did spare ribs, which are cheap, scrummy and so easy to do. Like all my recipes it was made up as I went along and is almost totally flexible. It went about like this …

I had …
a quantity of pork individual spare ribs. You will know how many you want to eat, but I’d allow at least 4 full-size ribs per person. You could buy a rack of ribs if you want, and that should work just as well, as would lamb or even beef. I happened to have bought single pork ribs.

For the sauce I used …
3-4 tbsp HP Sauce
4-5 tbsp tomato ketchup
1 tbsp olive oil
juice of a lemon (and the zest too if you wish)
3-4 tsp Worc. Sauce
1 tbsp tomato paste
1 tbsp garlic paste
1/2 tsp chilli paste (more if you wish)
1 tsp dried mixed herbs
salt & pepper

And then I did …
Pre-heat the oven to 190C with fan (200C if no fan).
Use either a baking sheet with 1-2cm sides or a roasting tin. Line it with foil (unless you want to seriously upset the washer-up).
Rinse the ribs and spread them out on the tin.
Put all the sauce ingredients in a bowl and mix until you have a homogeneous sauce.
Pour the sauce over the ribs and turn the ribs until they’re well coated in sauce.
Cover with foil and put in the oven.
After about 40 minutes remove the foil and return to the oven for another 20 minutes to crisp up.
Turn the ribs out into a serving dish/plate and pour over any remaining sauce.

I served these with a simple salad of tomato, onion, cucumber and canellini beans (plus the obligatory garlic and olives), hunks of good homemade bread and a bottle of hearty red wine.

It all disappeared!

Quotes

Another in our irregular series of quotes I’ve met and enjoyed. You did want some brain hurt, didn’t you …

An example of the sort of ridiculous fluff that I get in art based press releases … “a group of new inter-related works that playfully transform the narratives and forms associated with the models and myths of Western science, art and spirituality into a multivalent personal cosmology and cultural map. Making the irreversible, reversible and the linear, cyclical he plays a choreographer of another logic code of sense and non-sense: a dream of causality.” I haven’t the faintest idea what he is talking about.
[IanVisits on Facebook]

Well, no, neither have I!

The following would, however, explain why I’m always tired …

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
[Albert Camus]

We’re all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutual weirdness and call it love.
[Dr Seuss]

Right on, as usual, Dr Seuss!

I keep trying to convince some of my worry-wart friends of this next …

If you believe everything you read, better not to read.
[Japanese Proverb]

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.
[Mark Twain]

Mark Twain with an interesting approach to literary criticism!

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee — that will do them in.
[Bradley’s Bromide]

Yep, that should sort ’em out nicely! And then there’s more mind boggling from New Scientist

[W]hen he was creating a new password at Nike.com, Terence Kuch was advised to include “At least 1 mixed case letter”. He says he would like to, but “I can’t find any in the alphabet”.
[“Feedback”, New Scientist, 19/01/2013]

The following two quotes appeared in comment articles following the brouhaha in the US about Lena Dunham’s new TV series Girls, in which she (a normally sized and shaped mortal) appears nude.


Truth is, we’d all probably be a lot less neurotic about our own bodies if we could get used to seeing and accepting the natural variety in other people’s — without shame, and giving no fucks.
[]

The naked body is humanity at its most vulnerable and its most truthful, and it should be celebrated not only for its potential to be beautiful but also its potential to be funny, and awkward, and sad, and old, because this in turn is all that we are, and can be.
[http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/helen-charman/what-lena-dunhams-nudity-says-about-us_b_2507635.html]

Yes, absolutely!

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
[Aldous Huxley]

And finally …

Drawing circles, circles; innumerable circles concentric, eccentric; a coruscating whirl of circles that by their tangled multitude of repeated curves, uniformity of form and confusion of intersecting lines suggested a rendering of cosmic chaos, the symbolism of mad art attempting the inconceivable.
[Joseph Conrad, The Secret Agent]

Yeah, that’s how my head feels a lot of the time!

Five Questions, Series 3, #2

So let’s try to catch up a little. Here is an answer to the second of the Five Question.


Question 2. What are three things about you that most people either don’t know or wouldn’t expect?

This is actually quite hard. Over the years I have answered this sort of question so many times that I think I’ve run out of things which you don’t know about me. You know most of my medical history, about my childhood; my piercing; what I like and don’t like; what I want to do and will not do. So what’s left?

Well here are three things. I may have told you (some of) them before but I don’t recall doing so.

  1. Never ask me to make, build or mend anything: I have the dexterity of a bull in a china shop and the patience of an angry wasp. And if you think I’m bad I have only 10 left thumbs. My father was far worse: he had 20 left thumbs. He even said it against himself: “If I mend the vacuum cleaner, I have a bicycle saddle left over”.
  2. Very few people of any fame share my birthday; it seems to be a non-day in that respect. The best know three I can find are the former UK miners’ leader and socialist agitator, Arthur Scargill; Harry Gordon Selfridge, founder of the eponymous department store in London; and the golfer Ben Crenshaw.
  3. I’m not scared of going to either the dentist or the doctor. Yes, OK, I get anxious about unpleasant treatments when I don’t know what the medics are going to do to me — which I guess is normal. Most people seem to detest even the idea of going to the dentist. Conversely I enjoy it! I have a good relationship with my dentist, who’s an interesting guy. I like his attitude as a dentist: the best will do for my patients, so he’s right up with the best current technology. He doesn’t do anything by way of treatment unless he needs to; he doesn’t believe in taking gold out of one’s pocket without good reason. He’s highly skilled, inventive and amazingly dexterous; as he says “What is dentistry if it isn’t DIY?”. And we always seem to end up having an interesting or amusing conversation about something scientific or medical.

Will that do?

Now it’s your turn to show me yours. 😉

Mmmm … Leftovers

There’s a definite art to eating well but economically. Although we’re on fixed, if comfortable at present, incomes we’re not ones for scrimping on food — well we do most of our shopping at Waitrose and although many of their staples are price matched with Tesco and Sainsbury, many items are also of superior quality (in our option) and thus a little more expensive. I’d rather have good food, that tastes of what it is, than cheap rubbish.

So we make a policy, as we always have especially with meat, fruit and veg, of buying what’s in season, looks good and is affordably priced (even better if it’s on offer). If possible we also avoid buying anything which has been shipped half-way round the globe. Why buy New Zealand lamb when we have plenty in this country? Why do we import asparagus from Peru and mange tout from Namibia just so we can eat them in January? European produce is fair game, but we’ll always buy British if we can, and hardly ever from outside Europe. Isn’t it better to enjoy these things from local farms when they’re fresh and in season? And support our own farmers?

But there is another aspect to this art of eating well but economically: using what you have in the pantry to best effect and not unnecessarily throwing away leftovers. And that’s what I did this evening.

Leftover Duck Kitchen-Sink Nosh Loaf

This is what my mother would have called “a nosh up”, what school dinners would call “hash” and what a chef would call a “meat loaf”. The way I made it is nearer to the latter.

What follows will fill a large loaf tin and feed 4-5 generously.

I used …

  • remains of Sunday’s roast duck (a leg, the wings and the scraps off the carcass)
  • large packet of stuffing mix
  • medium red onion
  • 4 or 5 cloves of garlic
  • 12 or so green olives
  • a rather tired fennel
  • a good serving spoon of leftover cabbage
  • a very soft large slicing tomato
  • small dried chilli (optional)
  • dried mixed herbs, salt and pepper
  • olive oil
  • 1 generous tbsp tomato paste
  • 1 tbsp garlic paste
  • good splash Worc. sauce
  • 1 egg

This is what I did ...

  1. Pre-heat the oven to about 200C (180C if fan assisted)
  2. Put the stuffing mix in a large mixing bowl and add a good pinch of dried herbs, a big grind of fresh black pepper, a very little salt, the tomato paste, garlic paste and Worc. sauce
  3. Make up the stuffing mix with just enough boiling water, as per the packet, and leave it to cool a bit
  4. Take the meat off the duck and chop it up finely
  5. Also chop the tomato and leftover cabbage and add it to the duck
  6. Finely chop the garlic, olives, onion, fennel and chilli, and put in a pan with a good slug of olive oil; sweat this mixture until the onion is translucent
  7. At this point if you think the stuffing mix is too dry add a very tiny amount more water — not too much because the tomato will create quite a bit of moisture
  8. Now merge the duck mix, the stuffing mix and the onion mix, add the beaten egg to bind it, and mix it together well
  9. While all this has been happening your tame slave has greased the loaf tin (or equivalent) and, if you wish, lined it with baking parchment
  10. Turn the mixture into the loaf tin and press it down well
  11. Bake in the oven for 50-60 minutes; it’s done when a knife poked into the middle of the tin comes out hot after 5 seconds
  12. Turn the “loaf” out onto a large plate and remove the baking parchment
  13. Serve in slices (well it may be a bit soft for that when it’s hot) with potatoes, veg and sauce of your choice (we had it with garlic potatoes and steamed January King cabbage)

Notes …

  1. This will eat deliciously cold too, and in sandwiches
  2. If you can keep it overnight to cool, and press it too, it’ll be even better
  3. Basically you can use anything that’s to hand as long as there is stuffing mix (or breadcrumbs) and some protein (meat or beans); it’s your choice whether your ingredients work together
  4. You can vary this almost however you like and it is worth experimenting; more flavourful meats (like duck or smoked bacon) work especially well
  5. If you’re of a mind you can even make pretty layers or patterns with the ingredients
  6. If you’re using bacon in this, do go easy on the salt!
  7. The same mix can be used to stuff peppers or marrow, or could be cooked in a pastry case to make pie
  8. And if you really want to be economical you can use the duck bones etc. to make stock