All posts by Keith

I’m a controversialist and catalyst, quietly enabling others to develop by providing different ideas and views of the world. Born in London in the early 1950s and initially trained as a research chemist I retired as a senior project manager after 35 years in the IT industry. Retirement is about community give-back and finding some equilibrium. Founder and Honorary Secretary of the Anthony Powell Society. Chairman of my GP's patient group.

Urban Tree Festival

Anyone who follows along here will know the importance I attach to trees: they create shade, help clean up urban pollution, support a whole raft of important species from aphids to squirrels and owls, provide us with fruit and nuts, as well as giving many of us a great deal of pleasure. Urban trees are especially important as there are many studies showing that a green environment is important for life enhancement.

So I’m pleased to see the announcement of the first ever Urban Tree Festival in London.

The event, which runs over the weekend of 18-20 May, is promising a series of urban tree-related events across London including tree identification, street tree walks, and a close look at London’s Mulberry heritage.

Most of the events are ticketed (via Eventbrite); links are on the Urban Tree Festival events page.

H/T IanVisits

Bank Holiday 20 Questions Meme

Just for a bit of time-wasting amusement here’s a twenty question meme for the end of a bank holiday weekend.

  1. Name a food that you can’t stand but which most people seem to love. Butternut squash.
  2. Name a food beginning with each of your initials. Kale. Custard. Marmite.
  3. Who is the most famous person you’ve met? Author Ian Rankin.
  4. What was the last thing you read? This screen.
  5. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Get rid of the depression because pretty much everything else would follow from that.
  6. What vegetable do you most hate? Sweet potato.
  7. What superpower would you most like to have? Omnipotence – with that you can do anything else.
  8. What would you love to be an expert in? Doing nothing.
  9. If you could make any discovery, what would it be? The secret of immortality. Let’s face it, none of us really wants to die.
  10. What would you like to have named after you? A dung beetle would probably be most appropriate. Or a wasp. Yes, I’ll settle for an annoying wasp.
  11. If you could meet any figure from the past or the future, who would you meet? Elizabethan composer William Byrd.
  12. What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Earl Grey tea.
  13. Are you a good influence? I very much doubt it; indeed I might be worried if I were.
  14. Does pineapple belong on pizza? Definitely not; neither does peach, unless you’re making a specifically fruit pizza. (Must sometime write up my method for fruit pizza.)
  15. Something that’s worrying you at the moment. Diabetes.
  16. One skill you don’t have but wish you did. The ability to magically attract money. Well, who wouldn’t!?
  17. Tell me one unpopular, but entirely logical and far-sighted opinion you hold. The private car (van, etc.) should be banned. Yes, it would be tricky, but it could be done and it needen’t be as horrendous as you might imagine. (I must write an essay on this sometime.)
  18. Do you ever write in pencil any more? Yes, actually quite a bit of the time: old programmers always write in pencil.
  19. Do you wear rings? Yes. I’m currently wearing three: wedding ring, silver wedding anniversary ring, and a copper ring. Oh and my original (very worn) wedding ring on a chain round my neck.
  20. Tell us three things you did today? Tried (and failed) to get a very old laptop working. Started reorganising the patio. Made a chicken salad.

Nobody is tagged, but join in if you want – just leave a comment here with a link to your answers so we can all enjoy them.

Welcome!

Welcome to the new Zen Mischief site!

If you have landed here it appears that the migration from our old site has been a success. Thank you for your patience during the transition.

So what has changed?

  1. The driver for the change was to make the Zen Mischief Weblog part of this front page.
  2. That means the look and feel is slightly different, although the blog navigation is still in the right-hand column.
  3. The static pages still exist and are now linked from the left-hand column.
  4. The short site description and the current quote now appear at the top of the left-hand column.
  5. A few of the old static pages have been sunset; the rest have been revised; and there is some new content.
  6. If you trawl back through all the old blog posts then you’re likely to find some missing images; I’ll correct these as and when the opportunity arises.
  7. Oh, and you may need to update your bookmarks/favourites.

And that’s about it. Everything else should be much the same, and hopefully normal service can resume.

Your Monthly Links

Here’s the usual selection of links to articles which interested me and which you may have missed. We’ve a packed house, so on with the show …

Science, Technology & Natural World

Some interesting speculation on whether a pre-human industrial civilisation could have existed on Earth, and whether we would be able to tell.

Apparently European women are twice as likely to be naturally blond as men.

Ravens. The Tower of London has them. So who better to ask about the intelligence of Ravens.

Wasps. There are countless species of them, they’re mostly tiny, and most are parasitic – indeed there’s thought to be at least one parasitic wasp species for every other insect species.

Ants perform triage and launch rescue missions on the battlefield, but only if it’s worth the effort.

Scientists are suggesting that trees may have a form of “heartbeat”, but it is so slow we wouldn’t normally notice.

Why does soil, especially newly wet soil, Springtime soil and forest soil, smell so identifiably?

It seems many trillions of viruses fall to Earth each day – millions per square metre – and it’s not all bad.

A meteorite found in Sudan contains some tiny diamonds, which means it is thought to be the remnants of a lost planet.

Health & Medicine

Do you suffer from chronic pain? Medics are suggesting that a change of mindset could help reduce the pain as much as analgesics.

Who, apart from me, had flu this last winter? If you did you shouldn’t be surprised as apparently we don’t take flu seriously enough. It really is worth getting the flu jab (especially if you’re in an “at risk” category). Although I was vaccinated and still got flu which floored me it wasn’t anything like as bad as if I’d not been vaccinated.

The NHS is being urged to include boys & young men in the HPV vaccination scheme (currently only adolescent girls are eligible). Not only would it help contain the general spread of the virus, but more and more men are getting head/neck cancers from the human papilloma virus, thought to be due to the young having more oral sex.

A test is being developed that will allow a foetus’s sex to be determined from just a finger-prick drop of blood during the first trimester of pregnancy.

There needs to be much greater awareness of the state of our post-birth vaginas. As usual the UK lags behind our old enemy, France, in post-partum rehabilitation.

And while we’re at it, we still have an appallingly poor knowledge of the anatomy for the clitoris. Yes, that’s all of us, it seems!

Environment

Unlike my neighbour, most of us understand that plants are important. Here’s why.

Bees are important too. And you can help the bees by doing less. Just mow your lawn only every two to three weeks.

Scientists are developing an enzyme to eat plastic bottles.

Art & Literature

It’s reported that Neil Gaiman is to make a film of Mervyn Peake’s Gormenghast trilogy.

Stockholm residents are up in arms over a five storey high blue penis mural.

London

IanVisits has created a useful map of all London’s miniature steam train rides.

Meanwhile another London blogger, Diamond Geezer, has produced a London Random Tourist Inspiration Generator for when you want to go somewhere but don’t know where.

Lifestyle & Personal Development

We’re moving towards a cashless society, or so we’re told. But being cashless puts us at risk, so the Swedes are turning against the idea.

Why are some societies strict and others lax? New Scientist investigates.

Do you want to be more assertive in life? If so there’s a dominatrix in New York who will teach you.

Chiltern Railways, whose trains run north-west out of London’s Marylebone Station, are suggesting eight seated yoga poses you can do on your commute. I struggling to decide how serous they are.

Crazy cat lady is a frequent image in pop culture. But why?

Food & Drink

A recent column in the Guardian is suggesting that eating goat is as tasty as lamb and a sustainable, ethical choice of meat.

Shock, Horror, Humour

And finally, one for the engineers and kids out there. John Collins, aka. “The Paper Airplane Guy“, holds the distance record for flight by a paper airplane. And he shares a few of his secrets with us.

Orthorexia

Orthorexia

Excessive concern with consuming a diet considered to be correct in some respect, often involving the elimination of foods or food groups supposed to be harmful to health.
A disorder characterized by a morbid obsession with eating only healthy foods.

The OED reports the first use to be as recent as 1997, viz.:

Orthorexia nervosa refers to a pathological fixation on eating proper food.”
[Yoga Journal; September-October 1997]

Orthorexia – like anorexia and bulimia – eventually reaches a point where it takes over the sufferer’s life … Raw food fans take this to the utmost extreme.”
[Cosmopolitan (UK edition); September 1998]

40 Things About Me

OK, just to waste a few minutes, here’s a meme of 40 things about me. I changed one question from the original I saw as I thought it too American.

  1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes; certainly most of them.
  2. Coke or Pepsi? Coke, but it has to be Diet.
  3. Do you own a gun? No, guns are illegal in the UK without a licence. Anyway why would I want one?
  4. What flavour of fruit juice? Mango.
  5. What do you think of hot dogs? People should be convicted for leaving dogs in cars.
  6. What’s your favourite TV show? The off switch.
  7. What is your favourite movie? I don’t do film.
  8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Tea; always tea; and lots of it.
  9. Can you do a push-up? Very doubtful, but then why would I want to?
  10. What’s your favourite jewellery? My white gold signet ring (made on our 25th wedding anniversary).
  11. What is your favourite outdoor activity? Drinking beer, sitting in a deckchair, in the sun, watching good club cricket.
  12. Do you have ADD? No.
  13. Do you wear glasses? Yes, since I was 14. I’ve never liked the idea of even trying contact lenses.
  14. What was/is your favourite cartoon? Cartoon strip? Probably The Wizard of Id.
  15. Name three things you did yesterday/today? Paid some bills. Drank a few beers. Slept.
  16. Name 3 drinks you drink regularly? Beer. Wine. Gin.
  17. Current worries? Depression. Brexit.
  18. Current hates? The UK government.
  19. Favourite place to be? Dungeness.
  20. How did you bring in the New Year? Sitting up in bed with a glass of Champagne.
  21. Where would you like to go? Iceland.
  22. Name five people who might do this? I can’t think why anyone would waste their time.
  23. Do you wear slippers? No; always bare feet indoors (socks if very cold).
  24. What is your favourite colour? It varies with mood: sometimes green, sometimes yellow, sometimes …
  25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No idea; never tried them.
  26. Can you whistle? Only very badly.
  27. Where are you? Sitting at my desk in the study.
  28. Would you be a pirate? Never; I’m too prone to motion sickness.
  29. Favourite food? Curry. Or maybe pasta with seafood.
  30. Favourite music genre? Sacred early music.
  31. Do you wear proper pyjamas? No; haven’t worn anything in bed since I was a student.
  32. What’s in your pockets? Nothing; I’m wearing the Emperor’s new clothes.
  33. Last thing that made you laugh? Would I do anything so frivolous as laugh?
  34. What’s your favourite animal? Cats.
  35. What’s your most recent injury? Pulled muscle in my back.
  36. How many TVs in your house? Two.
  37. Worst pain? Total knee replacement, if only because it isn’t something that is over with in 5 minutes.
  38. Do you like to dance? No; I hate dance.
  39. Are your parents still together? As they’re both dead I have no idea.
  40. Do you enjoy camping? In a tent? Yes, I certainly did when I was young; not sure I could do it now.

Tock Tick

Here’s another piece on the English language; it seems to be in vogue round her at present.

I came across this some time ago and thought I had written about it, but I cannot find that I did. So here it is: an interesting piece, essentially a BBC report about Mark Forsyth’s book The Elements of Eloquence. It’s another example of why English is such a pig of a language!

Why “tock-tick” does not sound right to your ears

Play it by ear: If a word sequence sounds wrong, it is probably wrong.

Ever wondered why we say tick-lock, not tock-tick; or ding-dong, not dong-ding; King Kong, not Kong King? Turns out it is one of the unwritten rules of English that native speakers know without knowing.

The rule is: “If there are three words then the order has to go I, A, 0. If there are two words then the first is I and the second is either A or 0. Mish-mash, chit-chat, dilly-dally, shilly-shally, tip top, hip-hop, flip-flop, tic tac, sing song, ding dong, King Kong, ping pong.”

There’s another unwritten rule at work in the name Little Red Riding Hood.

“Adjectives in English absolutely have to be in this order: opinion-size-age-shape-colour-origin-material-purpose noun. So you can have a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife. But if you mess with that word order in the slightest you’ll sound like a maniac” [or worse, a foreigner!].

That explains why we say “little green men” not “green little men”, but “Big Bad Wolf” sounds like a gross violation of the “opinion (bad)-size (big)-noun (wolf)” order. It won’t, though, if you recall the first rule about the I-A-0 order.

That rule seems inviolable: “All four of a horse’s feet make exactly the same sound. But we always, always, say clip-clop, never clop-clip.”

This rule even has a technical name, if you care to know it – the rule of ablaut reduplication – but then life is simpler knowing that we know the rule without knowing it.

Words: Patrilocal and Matrilocal

Patrilocal
1. Describing a custom of marriage by which the married couple settles in the husband’s home or community.
2. The tendency of females to leave their natal group and reside (or mate) with males of a different group.

Similarly …

Matrilocal
1. Describing a custom of marriage by which the married couple settles in the wife’s home or community.
2. The tendency of males to leave their natal group and reside (or mate) with females of a different group.

First used in 1906, the words are from the fields of anthropology, sociology, ethnography and zoology.

For example, zoologically, chimpanzees are patrilocal, whereas many monkey species are matrilocal. Both modes are still found amongst different hunter-gatherer and similar tribes. Human societies are more predominantly patrilocal (although even in more undeveloped societies this is not universal), and is suggested as one of the foundations of the patriarchy and the ownership of women as chattels.

The western world has largely abandoned both modes, although has yet to shake off patriarchy etc.

Quotes

Welcome to this month’s collection of recently encountered quotes!

Everyone says he is crazy – which maybe he is – but the scarier thing about him is that he is stupid. You do not know anyone as stupid as Donald Trump. You just don’t.
[Fran Lebowitz]

Faith that cannot survive collision with the truth is not worth many regrets.
[Arthur C Clarke]

Prohibition … goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man’s appetite by legislation and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes … A prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded.
[Abraham Lincoln]

There is only one honest impulse at the bottom of Puritanism, and that is the impulse to punish the man with a superior capacity for happiness.
[HL Mencken]

The convention mis-called “modesty” has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anyone’s whim – anyone’s diseased caprice.
[Mark Twain]

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.
[Jon Stewart]

Capitalism is pretty horrible, but the various attempts at improving on it have either led to totalitarianism or gradually eroded back into capitalism. Or, in the case of modern China, both.
[David Mitchell; “There are good reasons for ignoring the news“; Guardian; 26/03/2018]

The way the news reaches us these days, with so much of it either “fake” or “breaking”, is worse than ignorance. It’s a decontextualised screech that monetises its ability to catch our attention, but takes no responsibility for advancing our understanding or avoiding disproportionate damage to our peace of mind.
[David Mitchell; “There are good reasons for ignoring the news“; Guardian; 26/03/2018]

[The news is] up-to-the-minute micro-snippets of information about events, the real significance of which will only become evident in many weeks’, months’ or years’ time; it’s like trying to assemble a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle of Satan’s face by being given one piece every hour, each one accompanied by a bone-rattling fanfare.
Under capitalism, current affairs are presented like this because it makes economic sense. The media generate money by getting our attention and we grant it most reliably not in response to the accurate, illuminating and proportionate, but to the loud, sensational and frightening. That’s a problem we can only solve by ignoring it.

[David Mitchell; “There are good reasons for ignoring the news“; Guardian; 26/03/2018]

De-criminalization is not the same thing as endorsement. There is no law against sticking wooden spoons up your ass. That doesn’t mean the state sanctions the use of wooden spoons for that purpose.
[@Grimesweeper on Twitter; 11/04/2018]

I stop and do nothing. Nothing happens. I am thinking about nothing. I listen to the passing of time. This is time, familiar and intimate. We are taken by it. The rush of seconds, hours, years that hurls us towards life then drags us towards nothingness … We inhabit time as fish live in water. Our being is being in time . Its solemn music nurtures us, opens the world to us, troubles us, frightens and lulls us. The universe unfolds into the future, dragged by time, and exists according to the order of time.
[Carlo Rovelli; “Time is Elastic“; Guardian; 14/04/2018]

There’s this common misconception that other people have all got their shizz together and we’re failing and flailing. It couldn’t be further from the truth. Life isn’t linear, we’re all kinda making it up as we’re going along because there is no handbook, there is no ‘right’ way and fundamentally, we’re all so different. It’s a shame we feel the pressure to get it ‘right’, when there is no right nor wrong, it’s how we perceive we’ve done based on a prior expectation we held of how we feel we should have done. And that awful comparison game we sometimes play based on what we see on social media, or the bits of people’s lives that they allow us to see. Life is a process of trial and error, there are obstacles aplenty, we cohabit with other people who are trying to find their way too which makes it even more difficult to feel as though we know what we’re doing.
[Blurt Foundation]

We cannot judge … the character of men with perfect accuracy, from their actions or their appearance in public; it is from their careless conversation, their half-finished sentences, that we may hope with the greatest probability of success to discover their real character.
[Maria Edgeworth (Anglo-Irish novelist; 1767-1849)]