Some more amusements for Low Saturday — that dreary day between Good Friday and Easter Day. These are all taken from Kitchen Wit, Quips and Quotes for Cooks and Food Lovers by Jane Brook, which I was given for Christmas.

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.
Josh Billings

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn’t try it on.
Billy Connolly

How can a nation be great if its bread tastes like Kleenex?
Julia Child

Cooks do meals for people they know and love. Chefs do it anonymously for anyone who has the price.
AA Gill

I have left many things unfinished in my life, but never a bar of chocolate.
Robert Morley

Having a good wife and rich cabbage soup, seek not other things.
Russian proverb

Shipping is a terrible thing to do to vegetables. They probably get jet-lagged, just like people.
Elizabeth Berry

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.
Fran Lebowitz

In victory, you deserve champagne, in defeat, you need it.
Napoleon Bonaparte

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Carl Sagan

A thriving household depends on the use of seasonal produce and the application or common sense.
Olivier de Serres

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
Spike Milligan