I recently happened across About.com:Sexuality and specifically an item written by their lead expert Cory Silverberg in which he encourages us all to talk more openly about sexuality. I’m going to reproduce here (for everyone’s convenience) the core of what he says:

One of the most difficult hurdles to get over when it comes to talking about sex (whether it’s talking with a partner, with a family member, with your therapist, etc.) is integrating it into your daily life. Sex talk is usually so loaded. Either it’s a scary thing about sexual difficulties, or you’re anxiously awaiting big time rejection, or there’s a blood test involved. Talking about sex is rarely casual fun. […]

This […] sex tip hopes to take you one step closer to this goal, by giving you the task of asking someone a question about sex this week.

These shouldn’t be skill testing questions, and they shouldn’t be asked in a mean spirit (designed to embarrass or coerce someone into talking about sex). They are questions designed to let people talk about sex, and also to get you more comfortable breaking the unspoken rule that you aren’t supposed to talk about sex.

Ask your best friend, or grandmother, or someone you just met. Be respectful, and consider the fact that for some people a question about sex could be traumatic, or trigger unexpected reactions related to bad sexual experiences. Choose wisely, but at the same time, try to take some risks in who you ask, and what you ask them.

If you’re stumped on what to ask, here are some of my favourite questions to ask random people:
Where did you first learn about sex?
When you grew up, what were the names you learned for your sexual body parts?
What was the worst sex you ever had? Did you ever have it again?
In theory, would you ever have sex with me? (Note: use this one with caution, and only if you want to know the answer.)

That last question is a bit of a joke, and goes against the spirit of this […] tip, but it can have fascinating results.

The point of this exercise is definitely not to create stressful conversations, the point is just the opposite. As long as you’re pretty sure this is a welcome question, try to ask the question in the same way you might ask about the last movie someone saw, or where they got that great shawl they are wearing.

Now talking more openly about sexuality is a sentiment with which I have to agree. As I have written before (eg. back in February) I believe that more openness about things sexual and medical would be good for all of us in terms of both mental and physical health.

However I am aware that in asking us to discuss sexuality “head on” in this way Silverberg is setting us a huge challenge (for me hardly less than anyone else) given that explicit discussion of sexuality is still a huge taboo for most people.

I wonder how many of my friends are equal to the challenge?  Who’s going to come out of the closet first? 🙂