Quotes

Our mid-month round-up of the amusing and thought-provoking wisdom of the world recently encountered …
Guess what? Birth is grisly, living is a messy business, and dying is fucking horrendous. Health care is at the gritty end of things. That’s its job. That’s what it does. We don’t expect it to look lovely. We don’t expect it to speak nicely, and wear expensive clothes. We expect it to work. We expect it to get down into the guts of the matter and fix things. It needs to fix people. It needs to fix lives. It needs to help us give birth, it needs to ease living, and soothe the dying. It isn’t about forms and management committees and balance sheets, not where it really matters.
[Katy Wheatley]
Man is the most insane species. He worships an invisible God and slaughters a visible Nature … without realizing that this Nature he slaughters is this invisible God he worships.
[Hubert Reeves]
[T]he close ties between a family and their GP is rapidly coming to an end. The politicians do not seem to understand that General Practice is not just about making a diagnosis and giving someone the ‘correct’ treatment in the shortest time possible. Although this is important, it is also about trust, compassion, reassurance, inter-relationships, life and support — most of which is not measurable and can only successfully be achieved once you’ve developed an on-going relationship in which a person has faith and trust in their doctor and the doctor has faith, trust and an understanding of the history (physical, social and psychological) of their patient.
[Dr Jonathan Lenten, Leicester]
People feel uncomfortable expressing views that Gordon Brown would have described as bigoted, but they feel them anyway, and so politicians and pundits come up with safe proxies to use.
Immigrants take jobs. Immigrants take benefits. Immigrants take without contributing.
It’s a soft xenophobia about strange other people with their strange ways, packaged into a Tesco Value political argument about the cost of migration on the UK Government’s rather overdrawn bank account.

[Ian Mansfield at IanVisits]
Chores on a morning as grim as double maths. Two magpies cross the back of the class like naughty paper aeroplanes.
[Simon Barnes on Twitter]
Small children are justified in being conspiracy theorists, since their world is run by an inscrutable and all-powerful organization possessing secret communications and mysterious powers — a world of adults, who act by a system of rules that children gradually master as they grow up.
[Thomas Griffiths & Joshua Tenenbaum in a 2006 study on coincidences]
The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.
[Warren Buffett]
The same number of doctors with a lower limit on maximum hours, providing the same level of care, across more days.
[Jeremy Hunt, Secretary of State for Health quoted in the Daily Telegraph]
[Compare with NASA’s much reviled desire for “Faster, Better, Cheaper”. Neither computes.]
I may be a Guardian contributor, but I still draw the line at spending upwards of £5 for a worryingly-green “energising smoothie” or some other crap. Maybe it’s my working class background, but I can’t contemplate paying paper money for a bottle of denser-than-average pond water.
[Dean Burnett, Guardian, 11/03/2016]
Court at your peril those spirits that dabble lasciviously with primeval matter, horrid substances, sperm of the world, producing monsters and fantastic things, as it is written, so that the toad, this leprous earth, eats up the eagle.
[Anthony Powell, Temporary Kings]
No government or party comes towards smokers with a position of policy purity — it is an income stream.
[Australian Federal MP Ewen Jones]

Plonkers to the Left of 'em …

… plonkers to the right of ’em.
This, from the Guardian a week or so ago, encapsulates the “Brexit problem” rather well.
The real problem is that no-one knows; there is no objective information; just lies, innuendo and wishful thinking.
Gawdelpus!

Ten Things

This month Ten Things returns to being more personal with 10 Places I Have No Desire To Go:

  1. South Africa (in fact anywhere in Africa except possibly Madagascar)
  2. Saudi Arabia
  3. Pakistan
  4. Mexico
  5. Argentina
  6. Australia
  7. Philippines
  8. Indonesia
  9. Israel
  10. Texas

Herbally High

At last. Some people who might have some influence are finally getting the message: prohibition doesn’t work. And that by decriminalising and licensing things you can not only control them but you can tax them.
No, for once I’m not talking about sex work. This is about cannabis.
The headline in yesterday’s Guardian read:
Sell cannabis to over-18s in licensed shops, says Lib Dem panel
It isn’t quite the Dutch model, but the recommendations have been put forward by a panel of experts including a couple of top cops.
The article is worth a read.

Bathtime

There was an interesting article in yesterday’s Guardian which bears out something I have long thought. It begins …

I shower once a week. Here’s why you should too.
Daily showering is expensive, polluting and unnecessary. The old-school weekly bath or shower — with a brief daily sink-wash — is healthier for the environment, and for us.
When I was a kid, bathtime was a once-a-week affair. We weren’t an unhygienic family — this is just how most of us lived in the 1960s, and I do not remember any horrific body odours resulting from it. By the time I was an adult, I was showering every day. With hindsight, I should have stuck to the old ways.

Indeed so, although in my family bathtime was twice a week, at least for me. If nothing else heating water was inconvenient and expensive in the days before ubiquitous central heating.
As a student I did shower every morning, and often more than once a day as I was playing lots of cricket, squash etc. Otherwise I actually have stuck to my childhood regime. Although it’s a bit more flexible now (partly down to lifestyle and partly as there’s easy hot water) I seldom shower more than a couple of times a week. And even then one seldom needs to spend more than 5 minutes in the shower (according to the article the average shower lasts 10 minutes).
(Now I’m not working, I also seldom shave more than every few days. I can’t stand more than 5 or 6 days beard, but shaving every day gives me far more skin problems.)
Did anyone notice? No of course you didn’t. Most of us don’t lead very dirty lives. Few these days work in dirty industry, down the mines or shovelling muck on the farm — when I concede that a daily bath or shower, after work, would be essential.
Yes, I like that nice, clean, scrubbed and pampered feeling a shower gives you; especially if you can then dive under lovely crisp, fresh bed-linen. It’s pleasant. But it isn’t essential. And on its own it isn’t a good reason for a daily shower (or two).
This is one area where we could go back in time without actually feeling any inconvenience. It would save massive amounts of water; and you would save on the cost of heating that water — both of which would be good for the environment as well as your wallet. On top of which you would probably save some time; and it might actually be better for your skin. That sounds like WIN-WIN to me!
Oh and here’s another take on the question from a plumbing supplier.

Weekly Photograph

Another from the archives this week — a montage, inspired by David Hockney’s techniques.

Glasgow Central Station Concourse
Glasgow Central Station Concourse
March 2008
Click the image as you’ll want to look at the larger views on Flickr

Thinking Thursday #6 Answer

OK, so last Thursday I posed the following problem from Alcuin of York:

A man has to take a wolf, a goat and a bunch of cabbages across a river. The only boat available can accommodate just two of them at a time. It is well known that if left alone together the goat would eat the cabbages, and the wolf would eat the goat; but the man has been ordered to transfer all of them to the other side dry and in good condition. How can he achieve this?

So this is how the man did it …

First take the goat across and leave the wolf and the cabbages behind. Then return (empty) and take the wolf across. Having put the wolf on the other side, take the goat back over (remember, you can’t leave it with the wolf!). Leaving the goat on the near side, take the cabbages across. Then you can return (empty, again) and having picked up the goat take it over once more. You should now have everyone on the far bank, safe and well, and you’ve had some healthy rowing.

How many of you worked that out? Good, well done.
Now the remaining challenge is to return the boat to it’s starting point. Bright ideas on how to do that — without getting wet or damaging your charges?
If you want to know more about Alcuin’s puzzles then Can You Solve Alcuin’s Puzzles? is a good starting point.