There is often criticism of Zen Bhuddism for being self-centred, selfish and insufficiently altruistic. This is true up to a point; as Brad Warner explains in a recent post on his Hardcore Zen site it is difficult to help others if you’re woozy yourself because you ain’t fixed your own oxygen mask. Here’s an extract of what Brad has to say …
Zen [seems to be] self-centered. Rather that hearing a lot about how we should be of service to others, the standard canonical texts of Zen appear to focus on what we need to do to improve our own situation and state of mind … They say we need to help others, but don’t go very deeply into how that might be done. This focus on the self is ironic considering that Zen is often portrayed as a practice aimed at eradicating the self.
But have you ever glanced up randomly when you’re on an airplane ignoring the flight attendants safety instructions? When they tell you how to use those oxygen masks they say that you should first secure your own mask before helping others. There’s a good reason for this. If the plane is losing oxygen you’re going to be too woozy to be of service to anyone else until you first get your own stuff together. This is the way it is in life as well.
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Much of what passes for religion … takes as its underlying unstated assumption and starting point that we ourselves are OK … It’s painful when that assumption is challenged …The underlying problem is the same as the problem with the emergency oxygen masks on airplanes. In our usual condition we are far too woozy to be of much service to anyone else. When our own condition is all messed up our attempts to be helpful are more likely to make things worse than to improve them.
That’s not to say we shouldn’t do anything when we see someone is in trouble. We always have to act from the state we’re in at this moment. It’s our duty to do what we can with what we have.
One of the greatest and most useful lessons I’ve learned from Zen practice is how not to help … People learn best from their own mistakes and learn nothing when you fix things for them.
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The problem is not whether we should live for others or not. The problem is how we should live for others … It’s important to discover how to truly help. And sometimes that means not helping.
Immediate take-away moral: don’t jump in and fix things for people but teach them how to fix the problem themselves. Kindness can be cruel in the short-term. It’s a bit like school is dull, tedious, boring and apparently pointless but later in life you realise it did actually enable you to fulfil your dreams.