Category Archives: quotes

More Quotes

Another round-up of quotes I’ve met which were amusing, interesting or thought-provoking.

The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.
[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]

Any event in this world — any human being for that matter — that seems to wear even the faintest cast or warp of strangeness, is apt to leave a disproportionately sharp impression on one’s senses … Life’s mere ordinary day-to-day — its thoughts, talk, doings — wither and die out of the mind like leaves from a tree. Year after year a similar crop recurs, and that goes too. It is mere debris, it perishes. But these other anomalies survive, even through the cold of age.
[Walter de la Mare, quoted at www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22380449]

The belief that the world is composed only of physical things operating according to universal laws is metaphysical speculation, not a falsifiable theory.
[John Gray, quoted at www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22380449]

The distinction between what’s natural and what’s not isn’t as straightforward as it seems. The very idea of a law-governed cosmos may be a relic of monotheism, with natural laws serving the role that divine commands once did. Many religions don’t distinguish between nature and the supernatural. For animists and polytheists, the natural world is full of spirits.
[John Gray (again), quoted at www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22380449]

Today’s scientists have substituted mathematics for experiments, and they wander off through equation after equation, and eventually build a structure which has no relation to reality.
[Nikola Tesla]

The strongest leaders lead not from their anger and frustration and fear, but from their vision of the world as it could be … See a world you want to move toward, and take just one step forward today. Take one more step tomorrow. And one more after that …
[Emily Nagoski at www.thedirtynormal.com/2013/05/08/be-the-sex-educator/]

Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.
[Mae West]

O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!
My tables, — meet it is I set it down,
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain;

[Hamlet, I,v]

When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.
[Goodhart’s Law]

Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it.
[George Orwell]

Though Evelyn [Waugh] described his own grasp of Latin and Greek as ‘superficial’, he did not think the hours devoted to learning them were wasted because one learnt ‘that words have basic inalienable meanings, departure from which is either conscious metaphor or inexcusable vulgarity … The old fashioned test of an English sentence — will it translate? — still stands after we have lost the trick of translation’. Anyone denied this apprenticeship — ‘most Americans and most women’ — would always be at a disadvantage.
[Michael Barber; Brief Lives: Evelyn Waugh]

You can never plan the future by the past.
[Edmund Burke]

Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible.
[MC Escher, 1898-1972]

Quotes

Another in our series of quotes which have amused or interested me recently …

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
[Oscar Levant]

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
[Jimmy Demaret]

Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter.
[William Ralph Inge]

The trouble with normal is it always gets worse.
[Bruce Cockburn]

Love is a springtime plant that perfumes everything with its hope, even the ruins to which it clings.
[Gustave Flaubert]

No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.
[Henry Adams]

[I]f everyone could just increase the openness and truthfulness of their sexual communication, or their communication about sex and sexuality even a little bit, it would create a great big change: a big change in each person’s own life, a big change in our world as a whole.
[Heather Corinna in It’s My Birthday: What I Want Is For You To Tell the Truth at Scarleteen]
At last, I’m not the only one saying it!

Our freedoms and privileges in a liberal democracy are ultimately guaranteed by the willingness of the state to use violence to protect them.
[Stephen Batchelor, quoted in More Thoughts on the Boston Bombings at Hardcore Zen]
Just think about that for a minute!

[C]ome either with arguments and demonstrations and bring us no more Texts and authorities, for our disputes are about the Sensible World, and not one of Paper.
[Galileo Galilei, Dialogue On Two World Systems]

It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.
[Leonardo da Vinci]

While a seaman might survive the suction and swallow, his arrival in a sperm whale’s stomach would seem to present a new set of problems. (I challenge you to find a more innocuous sentence containing the words sperm, suction, swallow and any homophone of seaman.)
[Mary Roach; Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal in a section on, inter alia, Jonah and the whale]

Quotes

Another of our irregular round-ups of quotes which have interested or amused …

My religion is simple. My religion is kindness.
[The Dalai Lama]

Earth has boundaries, but human stupidity is limitless.
[Gustave Flaubert]

Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
[anon]

The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up.
[Marilyn Monroe]

I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.
[Harry S Truman]

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it’s important.
[Eugene McCarthy]

If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.
[Albert Einstein (allegedly)]

The ultimate source of my mental happiness is my peace of mind. Nothing can destroy this except my own anger.
[Dalai Lama]

It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.
[Leonardo da Vinci]

She read books as one would breathe air, to fill up and live.
[Annie Dillard]

And I still like …

These ambiguities, redundancies, and deficiencies recall those attributed by Dr Franz Kuhn to a certain Chinese encyclopaedia entitled Celestial Emporium of Benevolent Knowledge. On those remote pages it is written that animals are divided into (a) those that belong to the Emperor, (b) embalmed ones, (c) those that are trained, (d) suckling pigs, (e) mermaids, (f) fabulous ones, (g) stray dogs, (h) those that are included in this classification, (i) those that tremble as if they were mad, (j) innumerable ones, (k) those drawn with a very fine camel’s hair brush, (l) et cetera, (m) those that have just broken a flower vase, (n) those that resemble flies from a distance.
[Borges; Essay “The Analytical Language of John Wilkins”]

Quote: Sperm

If sometimes you feel a little useless, offended or depressed, always remember that you were once the fastest and most victorious little sperm out of millions

Food Quotes

Some more amusements for Low Saturday — that dreary day between Good Friday and Easter Day. These are all taken from Kitchen Wit, Quips and Quotes for Cooks and Food Lovers by Jane Brook, which I was given for Christmas.

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.
Josh Billings

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn’t try it on.
Billy Connolly

How can a nation be great if its bread tastes like Kleenex?
Julia Child

Cooks do meals for people they know and love. Chefs do it anonymously for anyone who has the price.
AA Gill

I have left many things unfinished in my life, but never a bar of chocolate.
Robert Morley

Having a good wife and rich cabbage soup, seek not other things.
Russian proverb

Shipping is a terrible thing to do to vegetables. They probably get jet-lagged, just like people.
Elizabeth Berry

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.
Fran Lebowitz

In victory, you deserve champagne, in defeat, you need it.
Napoleon Bonaparte

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Carl Sagan

A thriving household depends on the use of seasonal produce and the application or common sense.
Olivier de Serres

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
Spike Milligan

Quotes

Another in our irregular series of quotes encountered which have amused or interested me. In no special order …

I don’t expect much from the Irish — a lot that I know so well that I despise them, everything about them, their posturing, the silly soft accents, their literature, especially Joyce, Synge but not including Yeats who writes like a great anglo — original spare strange — yes Hopkins — and I hate their genius for self-advertisement, their mock-belligerence, their obvious charm.
[Richard Burton, actor; The Richard Burton Diaries]

Every worthwhile accomplishment, big or little, has its stages of drudgery and triumph; a beginning, a struggle and a victory.
[Mahatma Gandhi]

If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough.
[Mario Andretti]

In a mad world only the mad are sane.
[Akira Kurosawa]

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.
[Douglas Adams]

Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power.
[Eric Hoffer]

There he goes, one of God’s own prototypes — a high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, too rare to die.
[Hunter S Thompson]

Whether we consider the individual, family, local, national or international level, peace must arise from inner peace. For example, making prayers for peace while continuing to harbor anger is futile. Training the mind and overcoming your anger is much more effective than mere prayer. Anger, hatred and jealousy never solve problems, only affection, concern and respect can do that.
[Dalai Lama]

The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
[Doug Larson]

Quotes

Another round-up of quotes recently encountered.

If you know someone who’s depressed please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation, depression just is, like the weather. Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest and best things you will ever do.
[Stephen Fry]

If you must chose between two evils pick the one you’ve never tried before.
[Walt Whitman]

All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
[Sean O’Casey]

Roman law explicitly set out the who, where and why of cursing. One expert calculated that the Romans had eight hundred ‘dirty’ words. Egyptian lawyers of the same period would seal documents with a hieroglyph which translates as: ‘As for him who shall disregard it, may he be fucked by a donkey.’ The actual hieroglyph? Two big penises, both erect.
[Peter Silverton, Filthy English: The How, Why, When and What of Everyday Swearing]

Everyone without exception believes that their own native customs are by far the best … there is plenty of evidence that this is the universal human attitude.
[Herodotus, ca. 440BC, quoted in Peter Silverton, Filthy English: The How, Why, When and What of Everyday Swearing]

No one has ever spelled out how the mere hearing of a word could corrupt one’s morals.
[Steven Pinker, 2002, also quoted in Peter Silverton, Filthy English: The How, Why, When and What of Everyday Swearing]

Obscenity lies not in words or things, but in attitudes that people have about words and things.
[Philologist Allen Walker Read, 1935, and another quoted in Peter Silverton, Filthy English: The How, Why, When and What of Everyday Swearing]

The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not a sufficient warrant.
[John Stuart Mill]

The poorest he that is in England hath a life to live, as the greatest he.
[Colonel Rainsborough]

Don’t ever do the best you can do. It’s better to be mediocre.
[Terry Allen]
This is certainly true: doing it properly and right first time doesn’t get rewards except more work. It’s the mediocre and even the incompetent who get the rewards because they have the time to shout about how good they are.

Quotes

Another in our irregular series of quotes I’ve met and enjoyed. You did want some brain hurt, didn’t you …

An example of the sort of ridiculous fluff that I get in art based press releases … “a group of new inter-related works that playfully transform the narratives and forms associated with the models and myths of Western science, art and spirituality into a multivalent personal cosmology and cultural map. Making the irreversible, reversible and the linear, cyclical he plays a choreographer of another logic code of sense and non-sense: a dream of causality.” I haven’t the faintest idea what he is talking about.
[IanVisits on Facebook]

Well, no, neither have I!

The following would, however, explain why I’m always tired …

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
[Albert Camus]

We’re all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutual weirdness and call it love.
[Dr Seuss]

Right on, as usual, Dr Seuss!

I keep trying to convince some of my worry-wart friends of this next …

If you believe everything you read, better not to read.
[Japanese Proverb]

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.
[Mark Twain]

Mark Twain with an interesting approach to literary criticism!

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee — that will do them in.
[Bradley’s Bromide]

Yep, that should sort ’em out nicely! And then there’s more mind boggling from New Scientist

[W]hen he was creating a new password at Nike.com, Terence Kuch was advised to include “At least 1 mixed case letter”. He says he would like to, but “I can’t find any in the alphabet”.
[“Feedback”, New Scientist, 19/01/2013]

The following two quotes appeared in comment articles following the brouhaha in the US about Lena Dunham’s new TV series Girls, in which she (a normally sized and shaped mortal) appears nude.


Truth is, we’d all probably be a lot less neurotic about our own bodies if we could get used to seeing and accepting the natural variety in other people’s — without shame, and giving no fucks.
[]

The naked body is humanity at its most vulnerable and its most truthful, and it should be celebrated not only for its potential to be beautiful but also its potential to be funny, and awkward, and sad, and old, because this in turn is all that we are, and can be.
[http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/helen-charman/what-lena-dunhams-nudity-says-about-us_b_2507635.html]

Yes, absolutely!

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
[Aldous Huxley]

And finally …

Drawing circles, circles; innumerable circles concentric, eccentric; a coruscating whirl of circles that by their tangled multitude of repeated curves, uniformity of form and confusion of intersecting lines suggested a rendering of cosmic chaos, the symbolism of mad art attempting the inconceivable.
[Joseph Conrad, The Secret Agent]

Yeah, that’s how my head feels a lot of the time!