This year our Ten Things series, on the tenth of each month, is concentrating on things which are wackier than usual, if not by much. From odd road names to Christmas carols by way of saints and scientists. So here goes with March …
Ten Entries from Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary
Chop. A piece of leather skilfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants. (right)
Dentist. A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls gold from your pocket.
Cannon. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.
Noise. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.
Cat. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
Envelope. The coffin of a document; the scabbard of a bill; the husk of a remittance; the bed-gown of a love-letter.
Hand. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody’s pocket.
History. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
Opera. A play representing life in another world, whose inhabitants have no speech but song, no motions but gestures and no postures but attitudes.
This year our Ten Things series, on the tenth of each month, is concentrating on things which are wackier than usual, if not by much. From odd road names to Christmas carols by way of saints and scientists. So here goes with February, and especially for Lent …
This year our Ten Things series, on the tenth of each month, is concentrating on things which are wackier than usual, if not by much. From odd road names to Christmas carols by way of saints and scientists. So here goes with January …
This is the final episode, covering the last couple of days, of my 100 Days of Haiku challenge. And not soon enough, they all say! Anyway here’s the final round-up.
Monday 7 October
Nudity and sex
need openness, not taboo.
Healthy benefits.
Tuesday 8 October
Silent summer night
and a fox trots up the street,
snack sensor a-twitch.
Bonus
Turkish delight, such
subtly flavoured sweetmeat.
Seraglio’s best.
Here’s the tally of progress by week:
Week
Haiku Written
1
16
2
28
3
33
4
26
5
26
6
27
7
28
8
24
Week
Haiku Written
9
28
10
18
11
26
12
22
13
27
14
23
15
13
Total
365
So what now? Well … First of all I might put together a “Best of …” my 100 Days Haiku. The 365 written contain a lot of dross, and a few good ones that haven’t made the cut here. I shall see if I find any point doing this and then if I get to do it. Secondly, I have another 100 Day challenge lined up; I may delay strating it until the start of next month. So watch this space.
Meanwhile I hope this series provided some amusement – in whatever way!
So here we are at the penultimate instalment of our 100 Days of Haiku challenge. The 100th day is Tuesday 8 October and I’ll post the final results in the middle of next week. Meanwhile here is this week’s offering.
Monday 30 September
Felines emitting
zonkons. No wonder I sleep
all the afternoon.
Tuesday 1 October
Autumn eastern sky;
only two stars, just visible.
Too much urban light.
Wednesday 2 October
Life is suffering
but filled with such wonders:
blue sky and lightning.
Thursday 3 October
Sink and ye shall find,
the tap it is a-dripping.
Plumber required.
Friday 4 October
2AM. She sleeps.
I enjoy a quiet wank.
Ah! So much better.
Saturday 5 October
Three eager felines
awaiting their bowls of cod.
No need to wash up.
Sunday 6 October
October tolls the knell
of distant summer days, and
winter soon to come.
We’re nearing the end of my 100 Days of Haiku challenge; just over two weeks to go. I need to get out more to stimulate the inspiration; however I continue to write more than one haiku most days although many are not at all good. Anyway here’s this week’s selection.
Monday 16 September
September Sunday,
warm sunny garden weather.
Neighbours arguing.
Tuesday 17 September
Venerable bears think
haiku writing very odd.
Maybe we all do?
Wednesday 18 September
Hidden in the trees
corvids argue all morning.
Continual din.
Thursday 19 September
Locks looking shaggy.
Long overdue, today we
for the barber’s chop.
Friday 20 September
Feeding together:
jackdaw and rook, corvids both,
across the stubble field.
Saturday 21 September
Blood test and flu jab;
chance meet friend: she’s lost her son.
Life is such sadness.
Sunday 22 September
Boy cat sleeps hard in
dappled sun through chilli plants.
Study as greenhouse.
Here’s the tally of progress by week:
Week
Haiku Written
1
16
2
28
3
33
4
26
5
26
6
27
7
28
8
24
Week
Haiku Written
9
28
10
18
11
26
12
22
13
14
15
Total
302
Next instalment, next Sunday.
Eccentric looks at life through the thoughts of a retired working thinker
