So just to finally get us in the Christmas party mood …

This week on Thinking Thursday I asked you the following question:

A bear walks south for one kilometre,
then it walks west for one kilometre,
then it walks north for one kilometre
and ends up at the same point from which it started.
What colour is the bear?
The answer, of course, is that the bear is white because it is a polar bear.
Why? Because the only place on earth where a bear can go south, west and north equal distances and end up where it started is the North Pole. Travelling east or west you travel along parallels which are circles equidistant from the poles. And travelling north or south you travel along meridians which are circles that cross both the north and the south poles. Which is all part of the geometry of the surface of a globe.

This week I thought we’d have something a little Christmas-y.

Click the image for a larger view

OK, so let’s have a little more fun with another Thinking Thursday puzzle. This is an old one, but like all such not too obvious until you know the answer.

A bear walks south for one kilometre,
then it walks west for one kilometre,
then it walks north for one kilometre
and ends up at the same point from which it started.
What colour is the bear?
As always there’s no prize except the fun of being a smarty-pants and getting it right. But if you want to show off by putting your answer in the comments, then that’s fine with me!
Answer on Sunday evening, as usual.
And also as usual, no cheating!

Yet another collection of the strange and unwanted from our local auction house.
A modern folksy wall mirror, the square plate in a frame of whitewashed twigs.
A mixed shelf of items including metal ware such as a decorative ink stand with ceramic liner, a pair of champleve and brass candlesticks, a pair of brass figures, two small brass and glass oil lamps, a large pair of green glazed vases decorated with flowering chrysanthemums, blue and white plate, Staffordshire flatback figurine of a stag and terrier, small quantity of coronation wares to include mugs, an old brass fire extinguisher, a large 19th century family Bible, a small quantity of old tins and a horn and brass purse plus other decorative items.
A plaster model of a skull, a clay bust of an African child, a selection of woodland brassware to include three Barley twist wooden candlesticks, a highly carved wooden box possibly Oriental (with key), further wooden jewellery and trinket boxes, a cross banded tea caddy inlaid satinwood, a wooden abacus, pair of rhino bookends, a pair of African figural bookends, soapstone vase decorated with monkeys, brass lamp, brass carriage clock, a 19th century metal iron, a brass tea set, pewter mug and others.
Approx. 35 bottles of alcohol including red and white whine [sic] such as four bottle of Botzinger 1989 Rose wine and four bottles of Bulgarian 1983 Oriachovitza Cabernet Sauvignon plus others.
A Royal typewriter, a Citizens atlas, four cameras including Kodak, boxed Brownies, two glass paperweights by Tiffany and Co. one modelled as an apple, a model car and small quantity of Meccano.
A pair of 19th century metal dog nutcrackers …
Do just make sure the dog is muzzled first!
Collection of Bisque figurines of elderly people and children, a light up Christmas ornament, three Lilliput lane ornaments including Big Ben in winter, various animal figurines including dragons, deer, cats and birds, a character teapot decorated with cats, hand painted oriental eggs on hardwood stands, a pair of carved wooden African busts plus other various ornaments.

A large wooden African carving in the form of a totem pole
What an almighty beast of a dildo!
A 70cl bottle of Bacardi, two litre bottles of Baileys, a litre bottle of Victory gin, 75cl bottle of Cockburns Port, two bottles of Deitz Champagne, plus others and a musical chess table and pieces, plus a Seconda watch
Two boxes of ribbons and tapes for dressmaking, plus four printer’s trays and wooden rollers
Three oversized red white and blue baubles used in the 1953 Coronation, and a special Punch edition for the Coronation of 1953, and two slipper pans, one by Boots called ‘Ideal’, the second Perfection Bed and Douche Pan
Two old metal scales and weights plus a vintage Spong mincer, a pair of Jockey Club Paris binoculars and another, a Kodak Box Brownie N0. 127 and another, a pair of old straw filled leather boxing gloves, a large leather Gladstone bag, a Nikon F401S camera in carrying bag, a flower press and quantity of framed pictures
A Maori ceremonial hardwood paddle deeply carved with tiki, with beaked head terminal to the handle, shallow-carved reverse, inlaid with a total of eight abalone discs, 61 long

A Nebuchadnezzar of Moet & Chandon Brut Imperial Champagne (15 Litres), owc; this bottle was donated to Oxfam and is signed by twelve famous film personalities comprising Ken Loach, Aishwarya Rai, Marion Cotillard, Monica Belluci, Pedro Almodovar, Penelope Cruz, Tony Parker, Eva Longoria, Vincent Cassel, Willem Dafoe, Vin Diesel and Scarlett Johansson
I’ve never seen a Nebuchadnezzar — 20 bottles worth! — before, and I’ll likely never see another because they aren’t that common.
An African carved wood mask applied with cowrie shells
An impressive late Victorian Scottish ram horn table snuff mull, with white metal mounts

Three black garden pots, each containing trees, and three empty pots, all on floor in front of window, including two decorative metal herons.
A Baird portable record player, an old accordion, early electrical medical instrument and a rape [sic] to tape reel deck by Elpico
A small quantity of decorative items including a table lamp in the form of a toadstool with cats living within, a brass and metal table lamp, a bottle of Campari, A Lladro figurine of a poodle and further poodle themed items such as figures, purses etc. a Jay trinket stand. A masons Ironstone cream jug and vase – Mandalay pattern, a small quantity of Portmeirion botanical garden dinner wares, a Wedgwood cornucopia pattern mantle clock and others
An Aladin [sic] brass and glass oil lamp, a green glass and brass hukka lamp, two leaded glass window panes, a wooden carved picture frame and a Sinclair ZXC Spectrum personal computer
An early 20th century table incorporating an old mangle on an iron base.

Christmas is coming, although I can’t comment on the obesity of the geese, so this month our ten things are …
Ten Truly Dreadful Cracker Jokes

1. “Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud.”
   “Yes sir, it’s fresh ground.”
2. What has four legs but can’t walk?
   A table!
3. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
   Tinsilitis!
4. What do crackers, fruitcake and nuts remind me of?
   You!
5. What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?
   The One Show.
6. What’s round and bad tempered?
   A vicious circle
7. On which side do chickens have the most feathers?
   The outside.
8. What happened when Santa went speed dating?
   He pulled a cracker.
9. Why doesn’t Santa suffer from claustrophobia when climbs down the chimney?
   Because has had his flue jab.
10. What do you call the chicken that’s crossing the road?
    Poultry in motion.

Well what do you really expect round here? Surely not academic rigour?

OK, so if you thought last week’s oddity of glittery beards was … well, odd … then we bring you the next great fashion: Glittery Armpits.

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