Christmas is coming, although I can’t comment on the obesity of the geese, so this month our ten things are …
Ten Truly Dreadful Cracker Jokes

1. “Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud.”
   “Yes sir, it’s fresh ground.”
2. What has four legs but can’t walk?
   A table!
3. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
   Tinsilitis!
4. What do crackers, fruitcake and nuts remind me of?
   You!
5. What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?
   The One Show.
6. What’s round and bad tempered?
   A vicious circle
7. On which side do chickens have the most feathers?
   The outside.
8. What happened when Santa went speed dating?
   He pulled a cracker.
9. Why doesn’t Santa suffer from claustrophobia when climbs down the chimney?
   Because has had his flue jab.
10. What do you call the chicken that’s crossing the road?
    Poultry in motion.

Well what do you really expect round here? Surely not academic rigour?

OK, so if you thought last week’s oddity of glittery beards was … well, odd … then we bring you the next great fashion: Glittery Armpits.