As I always do I’ve just been looking at the catalogue for our local auction house and I’m disappointed in this month’s sale. There are markedly fewer lots than normal, there’s nothing to interest me and the descriptions are abnormally dull. These are the sort of highlights:

2 Muhammad Ali boxing puppets, in plastic with mechanical arms and blue shirt

A good quality 9ct gold muff chain
[Just right for your collection of vajazzling gems!]

A collection of souvenir spoons, cufflinks, scent bottles, two jade animal figurines, six wristwatches … silver filigree llama …

A Bouteille thermo flask, a bottle holder, a world globe, bells, a stickleback fish.

A cast iron terrier relieving himself …

Six wooden handled Lyman bullet moulds, silver plated coasters, sugar nips, and two stuffed canaries in a glass case.

An antique Tibetan monk’s stool in carved and polychrome wood
[Hmmm … nice … human coprolite]

A stuffed baby alligator.

Must do better next month!