It’s auction time again and as usual I’ve been perusing the catalogue of our local auction house. I must admit that they are not as interesting or wacky as they were a year or two back; whether they’ve improved their description writing or aren’t getting so much odd stuff to sell, I don’t know — although this sale does seem to include a lot of good silverware and designer clothes (both men’s and women’s). Anyway here are some highlights of the latest sale which amused me.

An engraving, ‘Actresses Dressing in a Barn’ …
Undressing? I should have expected the opposite of actresses in a barn!!

A large military lot to include two ammunition cases, a radio … headsets, an HF transmitter receiver, a large communication unit, two army hats, etc.

A small carton of plated King’s pattern cutlery, also a pair of berry spoons, souvenir teaspoons, corkscrew, and an unusual giant nutcracks (sic)

A fine large George III silver sauceboat, with gadroon rim, on stepped hoof feet, with half-eagle crest.
How do you step a foot,let alone put a crest on it?

A silver child’s mug of Celtic design …
And there was I thinking children’s mugs were always whinge-shaped.

An Elizabeth II silver waiter with bead rim …
I can think of a few gays who’d quite like that. 😉

A pair of George II silver baluster muffineers …
Well that’s a new name of a gigolo!

A shelf of exotic shells and dried fish, and … a gilt metal leopard

A shelf of interesting figural pieces, including an old cream jug styled as a seated goat …
You mean you don’t already have one? Tut! Tut!

Pottery storage jars styled as houses, china cups, saucers and plates, a bowl of pottery fruit …
Not quite sure how you style a jar as a plate or saucer!?

A pair of Baccarat frosted glass chicks …

Three old green glass dumps (sic), one enclosing a three tiered flower pot, the other two bubbled.
Do what?!?

Nine late Victorian fireplace tiles, variously decorated with birds and flowers, and also with Dutch children in blue relief.
Should think the children might be very relieved to the removed from the tiles.

A collection of ceramic figures, including … a Lomonosov rabbit with carrot and polar bear …
Would have thought rabbit inside polar bear might be more likely.

Five mounted goat skulls with horns, each on a shoeld (sic) mount

A cowboy saddle in red leather and suede.
Now where’s Princess Diana when you need her?