I’m getting tired. Tired of the continual stream of references I see to people being not male or female, nor even gay or lesbian but a whole plethora of other weird sexual stereotypes: queer, cis, trans, genderqueer, and who knows what else.

With very few exceptions biological gender is binary: either male or female. (Yes I know there are aberrations caused by extra or missing chromosomes etc., but they are relatively unusual.)

Sexuality however is an analog scale which runs from “100% blokey male” to “100% girlie female”, with every possible shade, tint and hue in between. That’s why this is an analog scale and not a digitally quantised one.

What this means is that one’s place on this analog scale of sexuality is not entirely fixed by biological gender, nor environment, nor any other variable you choose to look at. Nor is it necessarily fixed in time. Everyone is some (variable) mix of male and female sexuality; again hence the analog scale.

[I must write a post about how I see the different dimensions of maleness and femaleness.]

It seems to me that this can be summarised in the following model:

Yes, it is a simple view. But simple views are often the best way of understanding what’s going on.

As you’ll all understand from this I am far from denying that peoples’ sexuality, and how they identify themselves through that sexuality, is (or should be) binary. It isn’t binary; and there is no reason it should be. You can be, identify as and act any darn mix of sexuality you like; such is your right. I just don’t care what arbitrary name you call it; it’s irrelevant. (And of course I may or may not care to identify with that role myself.)

At the end of the day you are you and that’s what I’m interested in. If your sexuality comes into whatever relationship (close or remote; another analog scale) we have – and it will, however peripherally – then so be it. It still doesn’t matter what it’s called.

If you find it (socially) useful to identify yourself as genderqueer or a green tricycle, that’s fine. Just don’t expect me to care. Either we will get along or we won’t. The fact that you’re a green tricycle and I’m a red fireplace isn’t what it’s about. At least in my world view.

OK?